Justified “Noises” in Consciousness Searching

Consciousness is not math. Still, it is an equation. Its presence is noticeable. Still, its absence is not that unnoticeable. If so, how do we define it? How do we figure out the function later on? It is the variable – the sense. Martin de sa Granja apparently tries to use his “auditory” sense, besides the visual, for consciousness searching. Does he? He seems to claim so… Through the use of “Noises” as the title… Through the main character… Through the never-been-used bat.

Visual or Auditory?

Most of the time, our visual comes first, followed by other senses. Scientists have claimed this theory since a long time ago with its justification of lightning and thunder phenomenon. As if following the classical rule of nature, the main character first saw his concern on “what he saw”. The author, over and over again, reminds the readers of this. The main character saw his discomfort of the TV show the other character was watching. He said how “stupid and poor” it was, with its “extremely poor jokes.” After that, he moved his concern on the seem-to-be-real problem – the noises. The noises, or the laughter, the other character made while watching the TV show had bothered him, possibly for a long time. 

The Real Object or Subject

At a glance, it looks like the main character envied of the TV show for catching (too much of) the attention of the other character. Or, for making the other character made noises he hated. If so, why did not he hit the off-button? In fact, the object of this anger is neither the TV show nor the noises. Yet, it is on the other character. This caused everything, as the TV show and the noises, to trigger the anger inside. The character seemed feeling great discontentment at the other character after so long as seen in “Giving you time, supplying you with the chance to redeem even a fraction of your characteristic uselessness”. “There was no need to look in detail to notice” makes it even clearer. The main character looks tired and making a decision: not to expecting too much; although, the anger showed the hurt expectation itself. In great stage of discontentment, the anger seems to over-control himself: his feeling and his logic. This creates the noises worsen than ever before. This creates the object to become the subject, and the other way around. This loss of logic and feeling had driven him to draw a conclusion: taking the other character out. So why did the noises keep existing?

Noises as Distraction

What noises are they? Are they true or imaginative? In the very beginning of the story, the author wants to convince the readers that the noises came from the other character. “I heard the damn noises you were emitting with your mouth” said he. But subtly, the author gives the other clue “You know what I’m talking about”. It creates another possible answer of what noises he talked about, which he kept himself. The noises are possibly invisible, yet real. 

Slow but sure, the unresolved question gives clues by itself. A couple of times, the main character denied the preliminary answers above. It is not the visual, not the auditory, which bothers him. It is something else. It is something out of the physical sense, more powerful and sensitive. It drives us to think “it must be something that can only be understood with feeling”. The emotion, it is. He stated “not because I had seen myself when I passed by the mirror, but because I could feel it”. And, “feeling waves of intense heat coming out from inside of” him. He even claimed to know that the consciousness of the other character yelling it [warning]. It delineates that the main character over-sensed things around him, and things inside of him.  

The main character was equipped with limited omniscient point of view. He stood as one who understood everything that was going on including the ability to read the consciousness of the other character through the eyes. However, this seemed to be distracted by the ignorance of the other character. The main character was troubled by the undelivered message of his to the other character. He tried to give tests for a couple of times, yet he did not get to know the results for lack of responses. His attempt to disturb the other character’s attention to the TV show failed. He was troubled with himself, alone. The unbalanced sensibility of both creates an agreement of what was going on did not take place. 

The noises, which are described as the subject of the story, could be the object. This works so by seeing the way the author treats “noises” to blind people’s focus on the main character. BUT, it can be simpler than that. The noises could be just a tool, used by the main characters for excuse, for justification. With the sensibility of the main character, it is clear that he knew what happened on the side of the other character. Yet, he still complained and asked “why did she does that?” or “why didn’t she does that?” And, the noises appeared to be an instant answer of his questions. Furthermore, he found some kind of justification for what he actually already planned before: a murder. This is shown in “remembering this, I feel fully justified in my actions”

The Dark World of a Room

The actions the main character planned and was planning were not without a reason. That the author moved the main character to a kind of store room, which was dark and full of unused stuff, was not without a reason too. After not finding the expected awareness of the other character, the main character dragged himself to the room as a way of reviewing the both characters’ life spent together. The dark lighting represents a state of getting lost. The dim light shows dim hope. The unused stuff represents the time they spent together. The story seems to lift up a “relationship” theme, which signifies some aspects of it: time or togetherness, although it could also be in its literal meaning. And, the most possible thing to represent it is the unused stuff, which has caught a lot of the main character’s attention. The main character reviewed the stuff the main character bought as useless; and this gave him other justification of his “actions”. The never-been-used bate is one example, aside from the old lawn mower which is much exposed. 

Justification Gained, Actions Executed

The noises and bate are enough to justify his “actions” which seems to already be planned. This plan is more detected since “Now I felt agitated and nervous” is stated, and from the guessing “A saw? no… a drill ? neither … An axe?” The main character expected a tool to hit the other character since the very beginning. This happened unconsciously or consciously. And, he felt glad of finding a bate and said “I knew what it was! This is perfect…” He assured himself by saying “At least it was not a complete waste, I could put it to good use”. These sentences seem to inform us that the actions had already been in mind for a long time. But, there was always an obstacle which was represented by an “old lawn mower”. It could be the society, the situation, people or opinions around them, which was almost unlikely controlled. That is why he “did try to find it” when it fell down, and said nothing when “almost stumbling again with” it.

After that, the plans were put into actions. The anger took control and forgiveness (hope) was absent. “There was no way back, but you still tried to beg” said he. The main character murdered the other character. For a while, he felt glad and assured “And this, is the story of how you died… for making noises with your mouth. The noises, you know what I’m talking about”. But then, the confidence faded. He re-thought of what was going on. This put the main character into an imbalanced state, which was shown in “The listener was absorbed, with wide eyes and mouth also, infested with disbelief and overwhelmed by fear”. After the great fluctuation of emotions, the consciousness finally came up and cleared it up. The main character, in his loneliness, talked to himself. In the middle of confusion, he admitted “I killed you. Sometimes, I do that… “. “You” could be referred to the other character or the main character, himself. This last line justified he surrendered if the blame was on him, if the victim was actually him. 

Is the Murder Real or Imaginative?

It was apparently made to be real at first, but the consciousness of the main character made the reality denied. It’s imaginative - only in the main character’s mind. After all, it’s more like self-character assassination.

Bibliography:

Granja, Martin de sa. “Noises”. Martincrazystories. 2013.

Image credit:   

hesperado.blogspot.com & omsync.com

Note:

I recommend this short story for being so imaginative yet so true. 
Good narrative exposition, excellent poetic denouement.

The Scarlet Letter: the Letter of Feminists in the 19th Century

1.  Introduction

Nathaniel Hawthorne was born in Salem, Massachusetts, in 1804. He first put his hand at writing and producing historical sketches after college. At Brook Farm, Two  intellects, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Margaret Fuller, drove him to promote transcendentalism. Transcendentalism delivers two principles. First, it is a religious, philosophical movement dedicated to the belief that divinity manifests itself everywhere. Second, it also advocates a personalized, direct relationship with the divine in place of formalized, structured religion. The second principle is manifested in The Scarlet Letter. 

            After his marriage in 1842, Hawthorne moved into an Old Manse. In 1846, he published Mosses from an Old Manse, a collection of American-related essays and stories. This collection made him earn praises from the literary establishment of America that paid attention to the attainments of cultural and political independence. 

            In 1850, after having lost his job, he published The Scarlet Letter to enthusiastic acclaim. His other outstanding novels include The House of the Seven Gables (1851), The Blithedale Romance (1852), and The Marble Faun (1860). After being one of the United States consuls in Europe for six years, Hawthorne died in 1864, a few years after returning to America.

            Of all Howthorne’s works that take America’s Puritan as a subject, The Scarlet Letter is his masterpiece. Puritan was known for its intolerance of secular ideas and lifestyles. Hawthorne uses the repressive, authoritarian Puritan society as an analogue for humankind in general. Hawthorne specifically focuses on American issues without overriding aesthetic, thematic side of his works. His universality and his dramatic keenness have honored him in the literary canon.

            In The Scarlet Letter, Hawthorne slightly puts feminism issue as a matter of the Puritan’s society. According Barbara Ellis, the female-dominated environment of Howthorne “gave him a respect towards women” more than other writers do (1). This respect was markedly manifested in the major character of The Scarlet Letter, Hester Prynne. Hawthorne characterized Hester “as an internally complex and a source of fear to men”(1).

            From the starting point above, the writer is interested in figuring out the attitudes toward women held by the society as seen in The Scarlet Letter.

2.  Discussion

Set in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1600s, Howthorne’s The Scarlet Letter is colored by a religious-oriented concept of living. The society, which was Puritan, put all trust they had in religion's rules as the rules of God. The rules of the Church were radically applied to every aspect of life as a way of purifying the Church from secular ideas and lifestyle. 

            One of the aspects that were obviously affected by Puritanism is familial life. The rules of Puritanism were highly considered and strictly applied to a family even in the very beginning of a marriage. Supposed to be a part of worship, marriage was viewed crucial to be done in the fairly young phase of life. Based on the Bible, family is the center of devotion to God in which it becomes the entrance where a male is first given the responsibility for being a spiritual, financial head of the household while a female is asked for her obedience under her husband’s authority. 

            In The Scarlet Letter, the superiority of male upon female in family was dispensed by the absence of Hester’s husband, Roger Chillingworth, in their married life. Though, the obedience of Hester upon Chillingworth was narrated in the exposition in which Hester followed the order of her husband to sequentially move “to Europe, to Amsterdam” and to “New England”(2). 

            Even though Hester was seemingly free from the authority of her husband for some time, as a wife without a husband living together, she was oppressed by the authority of others represented by males. John Wilson, Arthur Dimmesdale and Roger Chillingworth took part in Little Pearl’s parenting, something that should be the right of a mother to manage. They planned on separating Little Pearl from Hester for her scarlet letter and bad-considered way of parenting. The males arrived to the conclusion after having unsatisfactory answers from Little Pearl when asked “Pearl, Can you tell me the answer to this question? Who made you?” to find out her knowledge of God (10). 

            In religious life, the superiority of male was an inviolable rule. As a whole, the positions in the Church were occupied by males. The religious life was centered in the oldest Church in Boston named Congregationalist Church. In here, meetings of Puritans were held, led by the board of ministers. During every meeting they made, the ministers had the authority in the decision as they were the representative of God in the world by saying such sentence as “You have to tell us the name of the child’s father. It will help you in the eyes of God. Tell us, please.” (2). After drawn, the decision was obeyed as if it was the voice of God.

            The authority of the males of God was beyond the church. Orienting to the rules of God,  the society placed such great obedience to the Church and the ministers. Arthur Dimmesdale was a major character that flawlessly represents the males in the Church. Hailed as “a great man of God”, the young minister was considered could do nothing wrong, though, he tried to confess the truth “I am the worst sinner in this town” to everybody (15). His sin was not believed by the town’s people and the situation, for instance he failed to confess the truth to the people even to John Wilson walking past the platform he stood on, ready to scream out this confession (17). Even, most of the town’s people only said nothing rather than being angry at Dimmesdale’s confession at the end of the story (35).

            Females, however, did not have any voice in decision taking on political or social issues in the society. They only became passive participants in the meetings held in the town square or meeting house. In the exposition, some additional female characters were given chances to speak up their anger to Hester in “Hester is a child of the Devil” and “Look at her! Those are not the clothes of an adulteress” (1). Nonetheless, what was spoken by the females was just trivia and had no effect to the story. 

            The significance of female in the society, as seen in The Scarlet Letter, was so minor. The major characters are dominated by males, Arthur Dimmesdale and Roger Chillingworth. Even, the majority of the characters in the story are males namely the two major characters with the addition of John Wilson, Governor Bellingham, the man from the ship and some additional characters. The female characters that are obviously seen are only Hester and Little Pearl.

            The position of females in the society was inferior, under the superiority of males. This inequality was implicitly seen in the difference of the ways people named males and females. Both in the narration of the story and in the utterances of the characters, female characters especially Hester was always called by using the first name or “you” as the naming of the second person or just “woman”, for instance: “Where did you come from, Hester?” (Dimmesdale to Hester) or “Woman!” (John Wilson to Hester in a sarcastic way). In opposite, male characters were called by using the last name or their occupation, for instance: “Mr. Wilson, what does the child know?” (Governor to John Wilson) or “Minister?” (Little Pearl to Dimmesdale). In western society, the use of last name is more informal and shows more respect than the use of first name.

            Back to the fundamental concept of the society that was religion-based, females were always inferior and shown as devil or other negatively connotated things. Wikipedia stated that according to Puritans, “girls carried an additional number of Eve’s corruption and were catechized separately from boys at adolescence” (1). Such a thought created separation of education for girls and boys. Boys were prepared for vocations and leadership roles while girls were prepared for domestic and religious purposes. In fact, superiority of male was already characterized since the early phase of life.

3.  Conclusion

The setting of the place and time of The Scarlet Letter made Puritanism look so fundamental as a part of the society. The radical, strict implementation of the rules of God had created some imbalance or inequality among genres, male and female. In the religion-oriented society, the superiority of male upon female was considered reasonable for the belief of Eve’s corruption. Eve’s corruption left girls or women to carry innate sin and encounter with some bad connotations such as devil.

            The superiority of male upon female was rooted in the midst of society since the early phase of one’s life through the separation of education. Education became the basis of further superiority of male that happened in all basic aspects of life including familial, religious, political and social lives. 

            The authority of male was not only seen in the major aspects of life but also in the daily life. The ways people called a male or a female were different and showed different grades of respect. People called a male in a more formal, respectful way, compared to a female.

4.  Bibliography

"Literary Criticisms". Oocities. 19 April 2013.

"Puritan" Wikipedia. 19 April 2013.

"The Scarlet Letter". Bartleby. 19 April 2013.

"The Scarlet Letter" Sparknotes. 19 April 2013.    

"The Scarlet Letter". Wikipedia. 19 April 2013.   

Bressler, Charles E.. Literary Criticism: an Introduction to Theory and Practice. 2nd Ed. New Jersey: Practice Hall, 1998.

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. The Scarlet Letter. New York: Dover Publications, 1994.

Image credit: fs1.beta.obami.com

Benefits of Sanseviera Plant at Home

Being physically and psychologically healthy is not something pricey again thanks to the existence of Sanseviera plant at home. Sanseviera is a name of a flowering plant that is more well-known as mother-in-law’s tongue. It has greenish leaves identically arranged around the growing point, greenish-white flowers, as well as red-orange fruits. Due to its elegant shape, this plant is liked for being either indoor or outdoor ornamental plant. However, the benefits of Sanseviera are not only in the area of home design but also in the area of health and environment. Let’s find out what benefits Sanseviera brings into your home from those three areas.

Sanseviera has many benefits for health. According to Wikipedia, Sanseviera, especially its sap, has primarily been used as an antiseptic in traditional medication since the past. Sultan Said Lien, the owner of Nursery Oma Lien, also reported the use of the plant in modern medication. He said the mashed leaf of Sanseviera is able to alleviate any pains caused by bee stings or allergies. In addition, this extract is also good for being an herbal drink to cure some chronic diseases such as diabetes, hemorrhoid and syphilis. Even, the root of it works best for being hair tonic to maintain hair health.

In the area of environment, Sanseviera also brings a lot of positive effects. According to Wikipedia, Sanseviera majorly functions as a good air purifier for its capability of removing toxins namely formaldehyde, xylene and toluene. Even, Scientists found that this plant can absorb 107 types of poisonous substance in the air. As the further effect of this capability, this plant is believed to cure Sick Building Syndrome (SBS). Unlike other plants, Sanseviera releases oxygen instead of absorbing it at night, which makes it a suitable bedroom plant. Ithabise added that Sanseviera also balances the moisture of the air, which is then followed by its capability of lessening airborne allergens. Furthermore, Sultan Said Lien believed that it is also practically good for being an odor absorber. 

Interestingly, as stated by Stush2049 on Garden Web forum, Sanseviera is able to antidote radiation. In the area of home design and Feng Shui, Sanseviera benefits for psychological health. Wikipedia shows that Sanseviera is popular as a houseplant. Even Chinese usually pots this plant as a part of house decoration together with phoenixes or dragons. The existence of this plant satisfies the need of aesthetics in psychology. Besides, in Feng Shui perspective, Sanseviera is believed to heal coarseness if located near the kid’s room due to its upwards-growing leaves.

In short, Sanseviera benefits are proven in the area of health, environment and Feng Shui. Homeowners are always able to take benefits from this plant anytime they get sick, crave a respiratory system-friendly environment or have an overactive kid. So, do not underestimate this full-of-precious-benefits plant simply because it costs cheap in price. Both physically and psychologically, you deserve to gain health with Sanseviera and all the benefits behind.

Image credit: wikimedia.org

If the Nature Has Soul and “Weapon”

“Responsibility weights heavily on every living thing” is a set of words explicitly exposed by Nguyen Huy Thiep through his short story entitled “Salt of the Jungle”. Lived in Vietnam in the era of war, the author portrays the flow of the internal Vietnam conflict and the intervention of America, the superpower country, during the Vietnam War without any judgement implied. The neutral point of view served is obviously reflected by considering how the author characterizes all of the characters: Mr.Dieu and Monkeys. Both characters survive to live for life as it should be, in a harmony. The nature defines its own concept of harmony; when human as a partner of the living things desires beyond what the nature gives, the nature has a soul and a weapon to restore the lost harmony.

Harmony is often interfered with self-importance possessed by humans. Self-importance is something universal, which is naturally owned by all people everywhere in the earth. This negative trait is directly presented in the forms of the two characters in differently-sized scopes. In the beginning of the story, the author directly shows how a male monkey is corrupt during his familial life. He selects the best fruit and eats himself, leaving the bad one to a baby monkey and a female monkey. This reflects the internal conflict of the corrupt government of Vietnam, which means monkey is a physical reflection of the Vietnamese. Still in relation to Vietnam, the author implicitly symbolizes the countries, North Vietnam and South Vietnam, with names Mount Hoa Qua and Thuy Liem Cave. Furthermore, as for international-sized harmony interference, America with its sophisticated, matchless technology, on behalf of peace or harmony, takes place its importance on this full-of-conflict country. In reality, harmony is a real problem encountered by humans.

The interference of harmony also occurs in the  mutual relationship between humans and other living things – plants and animals. It is owing to an irrational desire, and also self-importance, of humans. Mr. Dieu portrays this latent character of humans very well. At the beginning of the story, the author tells how both a new shotgun and a spring day for the hunt really make life worth living for Mr. Dieu. Humans are too much obsessed with faked, temporary contentment, which makes them desire something beyond what the nature gives.

Nature virtually has a soul. The writer believes every living thing has a soul. He asks the readers to think so by creating a particular spot in the forest named Death Hallow in which “forsaken spirits usually take the form of white monkeys”. Humans and the living things (nature) are just the same. Both show anger if interfered. Nature has its own way or “weapon” to react the interference and to restore the lost harmony. Nature shows its anger and uses its weapon to Mr. Dieu twice. An avalanche is one. Even thanks to the soul, nature can also say thanks to humans. Nature thanks to Mr. Dieu for his kindness to a fine golden-haired female monkey with the Tu Huyen flowers and gentle spring rain.

“Salt of the Jungle” is recommended for all, due to its universality. Based on the way the life goes in Vietnam, the author views it with a deeper understanding of a reflection that is much bigger than war: lost harmony! Humans and nature live in a set harmony; when it is denied on behalf of self-importance or irrational, faked peace, the nature is ready with its “weapon” to get the harmony back.

Image credit: alliancevast.info

Who Know Why?

In noon, The Sun swaggers his lightness

Showing off the milky way here

Who know, Sol wrapped by the darkness

Formed from fusion, shunned ‘way. Hear

At night, The Moon blinks her beauty

Glowing the waves of warmth here

Who know, Luna wrapped by ugly

Formed from debris, shunned, cold no warm. Hear

Who know, if The Lord is only one

Why Sun, Moon, Noon, Night’s two sides

Who know, if Lo is only someone

Why her Life, Love has two sides

White is the lightest Black, Why

Why is Black is the darkest White?

Live, Love, Leave

Morning, the sky gives the sun a birth

The world ends his sleep and feels alive

Morning adorned with flying, singing bird

The words “let’s together live for life”

Afternoon, the sky, the sun be one

The world’s smiling, living for life

Afternoon, warmth felt in the heart of one

The words now “let’s be in love for life”

Night, the sky, the sun be apart

The world’s losing the warmth, be cold life

Night, they take two different part

The words then “let me leave you for life”

All day, three words exist in life

The words simply “live, love, leave for life”

 Image credit: artsygal13.wordpress.com

A Game Again

Spring was just in the corner. The flowers bloomed so beautifully, making the newborn greenish view even livelier. As lively as the day, some couple in Hereford, county town of Herefordshire, England, took a stroll and started talking about their next summer plan. The men in their the sober sack suits and Norfolk jackets and the women in their long, slightly tight  dresses with high necks and puffed sleeves enthusiastically arranged dates to attend the entertaining performances held during the weeks. The names such as grand opera composer Michael Balfe, musical theater performer Arthur Sullivan, and circus player Pablo Fanque were, a lot, mentioned at talks.

A 20-year-old man with a good looking, clean-shaven face, short, dark brown hair, and blue big eyes kept enjoying loneliness at the back of one of the sash windows in the mini library of his three-floored house. His sight stopped at one spot outside, at a young lady in a deep-rate dress, who is possible at the age of 17, prettily sitting on the bench across the street. Nobody knew whom she was waiting for, so did herself.

            “It is the time, Sir” a servant broke the silence in the full-of-books room, brought a cup of hot tea and put it on the table.

            “Is it?”, the young man ascertained lustlessly.

            “Absolutely, Sir. Johnny” , the servant answered, “Oh, that book. Mr. Ouseley had read it a couple of times. He was so inspired by the masterpiece.”

            “I do believe it. He was a warm-hearted person”, the young man put down a Charles Dickens’ novel entitled Oliver Twist on the table and reached a case prepared by the loyal servant.

            “Alright, I’ll go. But, don’t you think that a cup of your best-in-taste tea will be so helpful for the lady outside? She has been there for two hours now” the man suggested.

            “It is her own fault to be there, Sir, to be the Great Social Evil”, the servant answered.

            “Is it?, the man passed by the servant and said nothing.

The young man was Johnny Ouseley, the only son of Frederick Ouseley, both a musician and a founder of choir and music schools at St. Michael’s College, who just passed away a month ago. The musician was a respectable figure of the town but had no wife throughout his life. Ouseley adopted small Johnny and passed down his musical craftsmanship to his. He expected Johnny to be the second Ouseley or even more.Today Johnny was a well-known musician and a music teacher for upper-class children.

Not so long, Johnny arrived in front of a great house designed with slate roofs, stone details and modest decoration and kept walking through a neatly designed gardening area. 

            “Good evening, Teacher” a 16-year-old lady in a dark green dress suddenly stopped his walk, bringing some stalks of flowers.

            “Good evening, Miss. Rosella. If I am not mistaken, we should have a lesson today”, Johnny asked politely.

            “We should. But, I don’t think that we have to miss this beautiful day inside. Look, these are yours. I still have some for others” The lively lady left him alone without even waiting for his response. Her red-colored hair shone by the sunshine.

Some minutes later, a middle-aged couple delivered a greeting.  They are the hosts of the house, Mr. and Mrs. Disraeli. Actually, Rosella was their niece, but after an accident that killed both of her parents they adopted 5-year-old Rosella. 

            “It is a really nice day, isn’t it?”Mr. Disraeli said.

            “Yes, Sir. Miss Rosella gave me the flowers. If permitted, I would like to place them in the vase over the piano” Johnny politely asked.

            “It is a nice idea. Seems our Rosella has had her own plan today. But, we will soon bring her to you. If you do not mind, please, go inside. There sits Annabelle.”

            “Alright, Mrs. Disraeli.”

Annabelle was sitting on a stool at the open room next to the garden. Annabelle was an introvert lady, she rarely talked to others out of the family. Owing to this personality, she was never in a relationship. Only to Johnny, she started talking and sharing her feeling. She fell in love in this young man, from the first time they met.

            “Nice flowers” Rosa commended and bowed.

            “You can have them, if you want” Johnny handed over the flowers.

            “ Really? I would love placing them in my room” she reached the flowers and gave a persimmon pudding, “I hope you want to taste it”

            “With some new ingredients?”

            “As usual, for you” she got ashamed and her cheeks turned into red.

The time went by, leaving plenties of stories behind. For Johnny, there lived only on a story to tell about, entitled “Guilt and Love”. The story only required one setting, Mr. Disraeli’s house, and two characters: Rosella and Annabelle. From time to time, Annabelle more intensively paid attention to him through her cooking, her handmade clothing, and all. 

But love could not lie. By the time he spent with Rosella, something bloomed as the flowers in the spring. This was an invisible note he never knew he played, called Love. The days got more and more colorful with Rosella’s humorous, lively traits. He knew it sounded impossible to make a relationship with his student at that young. But, he believed impossibility was nothing, similar to his life.

            “You play the note much better, Miss Rosella” Johnny complimented his young lady student.

            “Thank you, Sir. May I leave now?”

            “Yes, Of course. You are a busy lady. It seems you still actively get involved in the charitable organization” Johnny smiled nicely.

            “Yes.” Rosella held the right hand of her teacher and said nothing again. In a few minutes, she had been in her carriage.

            “Hope, I can play this note of love to you”

A carriage arrived in a big public house. A young lady in her dark-colored dress got off and entered a high, rustic, but sturdy door in front of her. Her casual appearance was not able to hide her aristocrat look from the poors. But her way of talking so much said that she  was a friend. She gracefully walked through the narrow, stuffy alleys and rooms with a bad sanitation. Her feet stopped in a room of the olds. She walked toward a bed in the corner and greeted an old couple there.

            “You, two, look better, Mr. and Mrs. Brown”

            “Perhaps. You look beautiful as usual”

            “You are so kind. Let’s have an evening walk, the weather is so nice”

            “I do not know if I can. This cholera is weakening me so much. And, the master must not allow us to go out”, the old man politely refused.

            “I have taken care of it. No problem”, the young lady helped the two old to walk through the narrow, stuffy alleys and rooms with a bad sanitation.

In a distance, a young man in a black suit that was much bigger for his body kept an eye on these three persons. He casually smoked a cigar and went somewhere. No one knew the man and his cold smile.

One day, Rosella just arrived at the entrance gate of her house, Johnny stood outside the gate, accompanied with cold and warm breezes that come at different times.

            “Good evening, Miss Ross”

            “Evening Mr Johnny. What are you doing here? It is cold outside”

            “Yes. But, would you mind accompanying me to walk around for a while?”

            “Honestly, it is a strange request. But it is okay.” The lady got off from the carriage and walked side by side with the man in silence. In order to break the ice, the man started a conversation.

            “It has been 5 years since I first met you in the spring like this. It must need a special reason to be that long, isn’t it?”

            “Sorry? What are you supposed to mean, Mr. Johnny?”

            “Nothing. Happy birthday, Miss Rosella.” The man suddenly held the lady’s right hand and left a smaller wooden box in her hand.

            Rosella noticed the unusual act of her teacher. In her room, she opened up the box and found an old handkerchief with a floral pattern on it as well as a letter. There is written, a latent, dark memory and the true feeling of Johnny toward her in words. With the box in hands, her mind got more complicated and questions uncontrollably keep popping up in her mind. Until the next 5 days, Mr Johnny did not come to teach her as usual.

            “How can I help you, lady?” A servant greeted a guest of her host.

            “I need to meet Mr. Johnny. Is he available?” a young lady asked politely when a young man went to out and reached the door.

            “What are you doing here, Miss Ross?”

            “Could I come in? It’s cold here” The lady responded him briefly.

            “Yes, please.” The young man asked the young lady to come in and follow him to his favorite mini library. Right after he closed the door of the room, small hands hugged him from the back. Johnny got shocked but did nothing for a while.

            “I do not ever think I will say it to a 20-year-old music teacher,” The young lady took a deep breath and continued, “I felt the same as yours. For years, I was worried if you loved Annabelle instead of me, if Annabelle was my rival. I am now sure you were the young man who saved me when the accident happened. I didn’t notice that I lost my handkerchief, this handkerchief.”

            “I can say nothing again.”

            From the time, they ran a secret, intimate relationship. Thanks to the regular schedules of the music lesson, they could meet more often. The relationship between Johnny and Mr. Disraeli’s family got closer as a family. At times, Johnny stayed overnight in the house and had meals together.

One day, when the sun lite so bright and the warm breezes came out from its some-month hiding. Disraeli’s family and Johnny involved in a garden party. Fresh salmon, pastas, and fruits were served on some silverware; chilled gin and champagne was poured into glasses by the ladies. All looked fine until an unexpected question was asked by Mr. Disraeli.

            “Your father and I were best friends. When he was alive, he ever asked my opinion about the soon marriage of Rosella and you. I think the time is my turn to answer his question. You must understand what I said.”

            “Sorry, Sir. I have nothing to say now.”

            “Let me know the answer at the end of the week”

            “Alright, Sir”

Some days later became much more complicated for Johnny. He often said nothing, staring outside one of the windows of his favorite mini library. As usual, a lady was prettily sitting on the bench, waiting for whom she did not know. Annabelle felt a difference in this young man. Getting involved in this awry situasion,  she stated her anxiety on Johnny.

            “I am sorry.”

            “That’s fine”

            “But, you aren’t. It has been some days you just come and talk less. Really unusual.”

            “I only need a time of thinking”

            “A honorable man as you must find it hard to choose the will of your father or love, Rosella” Tears ran down her while, pale cheeks.

            “What do you mean?”

            “I know about your secret affair with her. You, two, cannot cheat on me”

            “…” The young man moved closer to the lady and unpredictably landed a kiss on the lips of her, “I never love Rosella, but you”, the man hugged the lady tightly for a short moment and left her alone.

The days later are the best moments ever for Annabelle. She spent much time with Johnny. The marriage was arranged, the riches and the respectable ones were invited, the wedding dress and suit were designed for the soon-in-marriage ones. The wedding had been a spotlight of the town for weeks.

            A lady was walking through the street in a silent cry. Her woolen coat could not be able to refrain the night breeze from touching her white, smooth skin. The eyes of her were without happiness, hope, and warmth. She dared herself to step up the stairs in front of a nearby house and knocked the door of the house.

            “Is Mr. available?”

            “Yes, please. He is waiting for you inside”

            “Thank you” the lady came in and sat on a chair.

Not long after than a young man in his casual apparel came out and landed a kiss on the right hand of the lady. He smoothly hugged the lady.

            “You are evil” The lady cried and forcely finish the cold hug.

            “No. I am not. What happened? I think you are worried on my sickness”

            “I am pregnant”

Suddenly another young man appeared and impolitely joined the conversation.

            “It should not that way, John. That’s a fault, really bad fault.” The new man argued.

            “How can…? I must hallucinate.” The lady was extremely shocked seeing two identical young men in a same look argumentating in front of her.

            “Sorry, Ross. I can explain” The first man tried to cool down the lady.

            “Who are you all?” Lady angrily asked.

            “Hear me, Ross. This is my twin. My family and I came from a rural village when I was 10. Our pristine land was damaged by the establishment of government-funded factories. My parents could cultivate nothing and my brother and I could hunt nothing again. All had been industrialized. But, our migration to this town resulted nothing but sacrifaction. My parents were placed in a urban house while we are in a separate orphanage house. Thanks to Mr. Frederick Ouseley who picked me up from the poor house and taught me music, I am here.” The first man stopped telling.

            “But, these separated twins met again a week after the funeral ceremony of his Godfather. With all Mr Ouseley has, we afford to take our parents out, but we don’t. We want to save others too by taking an opportunity to marry a daughter of the most affective person of the town, Mr Disraeli.” The second man spoke out.

            “So, you have fun on my family, and now my pregnant.” The lady cried louder.

            “No, it’s fault. Annabelle is our target, the one who will soon get the inheritance and the authority of your family, not you. But this idiot messes up the whole game by loving you.”

            “What should I do now. I do not want to be a fallen woman, but I am. I will never let you marry Annabelle.” She looked at the first man angrily.

            “I won’t. Never.” The first man interrupted.

            “You lie again, Mr Johnny. You show your love to Annabelle in hundreds of times during these weeks.

            “How could it be? I was here for weeks suffering from this sickness. That must be him. Johnnie, say something. I want all to get over” The first man commanded the second one, but another one only gave a cold smile.

            “I better die with this sinful pregnancy”

            “Stop, you all. Let’s play a game again and all will be fine.” The second one lit a cigar and went to somewhere.

The summer was just in the corner. The leaves fell down so elegantly, making the brownish garden look dramatic. As dramatic as the day, a wedding was held in the house of one of the most affective persons in the town. The handsome groom Johnny and the beautiful bride Annabelle were tied in love and God, in front of tons of aristocrats. There, Mr and Mrs. Disraeli happily sat side by side with another old couple in their really simple dress and suit. The smile of happiness bloomed on the bride’s face, the smile of win bloomed on the groom’s face.

On a ship, another couple was hand in hand, seeing the incredibly gorgeous ocean sightseeing.

“Is it okay to let him alone there?” The lady asked.

“No, problem. He knows what he does, and Miss. Freedom will keep an eye on him.”

“Who is she?”

“The one who is waiting for someone whom she does not know.”

“It is not an answer, my dear Teacher.”

“She is who told me about where people like us can pursue the happiness, in the land of freedom, America.”