Justified “Noises” in Consciousness Searching

Consciousness is not math. Still, it is an equation. Its presence is noticeable. Still, its absence is not that unnoticeable. If so, how do we define it? How do we figure out the function later on? It is the variable – the sense. Martin de sa Granja apparently tries to use his “auditory” sense, besides the visual, for consciousness searching. Does he? He seems to claim so… Through the use of “Noises” as the title… Through the main character… Through the never-been-used bat.

Visual or Auditory?

Most of the time, our visual comes first, followed by other senses. Scientists have claimed this theory since a long time ago with its justification of lightning and thunder phenomenon. As if following the classical rule of nature, the main character first saw his concern on “what he saw”. The author, over and over again, reminds the readers of this. The main character saw his discomfort of the TV show the other character was watching. He said how “stupid and poor” it was, with its “extremely poor jokes.” After that, he moved his concern on the seem-to-be-real problem – the noises. The noises, or the laughter, the other character made while watching the TV show had bothered him, possibly for a long time. 

The Real Object or Subject

At a glance, it looks like the main character envied of the TV show for catching (too much of) the attention of the other character. Or, for making the other character made noises he hated. If so, why did not he hit the off-button? In fact, the object of this anger is neither the TV show nor the noises. Yet, it is on the other character. This caused everything, as the TV show and the noises, to trigger the anger inside. The character seemed feeling great discontentment at the other character after so long as seen in “Giving you time, supplying you with the chance to redeem even a fraction of your characteristic uselessness”. “There was no need to look in detail to notice” makes it even clearer. The main character looks tired and making a decision: not to expecting too much; although, the anger showed the hurt expectation itself. In great stage of discontentment, the anger seems to over-control himself: his feeling and his logic. This creates the noises worsen than ever before. This creates the object to become the subject, and the other way around. This loss of logic and feeling had driven him to draw a conclusion: taking the other character out. So why did the noises keep existing?

Noises as Distraction

What noises are they? Are they true or imaginative? In the very beginning of the story, the author wants to convince the readers that the noises came from the other character. “I heard the damn noises you were emitting with your mouth” said he. But subtly, the author gives the other clue “You know what I’m talking about”. It creates another possible answer of what noises he talked about, which he kept himself. The noises are possibly invisible, yet real. 

Slow but sure, the unresolved question gives clues by itself. A couple of times, the main character denied the preliminary answers above. It is not the visual, not the auditory, which bothers him. It is something else. It is something out of the physical sense, more powerful and sensitive. It drives us to think “it must be something that can only be understood with feeling”. The emotion, it is. He stated “not because I had seen myself when I passed by the mirror, but because I could feel it”. And, “feeling waves of intense heat coming out from inside of” him. He even claimed to know that the consciousness of the other character yelling it [warning]. It delineates that the main character over-sensed things around him, and things inside of him.  

The main character was equipped with limited omniscient point of view. He stood as one who understood everything that was going on including the ability to read the consciousness of the other character through the eyes. However, this seemed to be distracted by the ignorance of the other character. The main character was troubled by the undelivered message of his to the other character. He tried to give tests for a couple of times, yet he did not get to know the results for lack of responses. His attempt to disturb the other character’s attention to the TV show failed. He was troubled with himself, alone. The unbalanced sensibility of both creates an agreement of what was going on did not take place. 

The noises, which are described as the subject of the story, could be the object. This works so by seeing the way the author treats “noises” to blind people’s focus on the main character. BUT, it can be simpler than that. The noises could be just a tool, used by the main characters for excuse, for justification. With the sensibility of the main character, it is clear that he knew what happened on the side of the other character. Yet, he still complained and asked “why did she does that?” or “why didn’t she does that?” And, the noises appeared to be an instant answer of his questions. Furthermore, he found some kind of justification for what he actually already planned before: a murder. This is shown in “remembering this, I feel fully justified in my actions”

The Dark World of a Room

The actions the main character planned and was planning were not without a reason. That the author moved the main character to a kind of store room, which was dark and full of unused stuff, was not without a reason too. After not finding the expected awareness of the other character, the main character dragged himself to the room as a way of reviewing the both characters’ life spent together. The dark lighting represents a state of getting lost. The dim light shows dim hope. The unused stuff represents the time they spent together. The story seems to lift up a “relationship” theme, which signifies some aspects of it: time or togetherness, although it could also be in its literal meaning. And, the most possible thing to represent it is the unused stuff, which has caught a lot of the main character’s attention. The main character reviewed the stuff the main character bought as useless; and this gave him other justification of his “actions”. The never-been-used bate is one example, aside from the old lawn mower which is much exposed. 

Justification Gained, Actions Executed

The noises and bate are enough to justify his “actions” which seems to already be planned. This plan is more detected since “Now I felt agitated and nervous” is stated, and from the guessing “A saw? no… a drill ? neither … An axe?” The main character expected a tool to hit the other character since the very beginning. This happened unconsciously or consciously. And, he felt glad of finding a bate and said “I knew what it was! This is perfect…” He assured himself by saying “At least it was not a complete waste, I could put it to good use”. These sentences seem to inform us that the actions had already been in mind for a long time. But, there was always an obstacle which was represented by an “old lawn mower”. It could be the society, the situation, people or opinions around them, which was almost unlikely controlled. That is why he “did try to find it” when it fell down, and said nothing when “almost stumbling again with” it.

After that, the plans were put into actions. The anger took control and forgiveness (hope) was absent. “There was no way back, but you still tried to beg” said he. The main character murdered the other character. For a while, he felt glad and assured “And this, is the story of how you died… for making noises with your mouth. The noises, you know what I’m talking about”. But then, the confidence faded. He re-thought of what was going on. This put the main character into an imbalanced state, which was shown in “The listener was absorbed, with wide eyes and mouth also, infested with disbelief and overwhelmed by fear”. After the great fluctuation of emotions, the consciousness finally came up and cleared it up. The main character, in his loneliness, talked to himself. In the middle of confusion, he admitted “I killed you. Sometimes, I do that… “. “You” could be referred to the other character or the main character, himself. This last line justified he surrendered if the blame was on him, if the victim was actually him. 

Is the Murder Real or Imaginative?

It was apparently made to be real at first, but the consciousness of the main character made the reality denied. It’s imaginative - only in the main character’s mind. After all, it’s more like self-character assassination.

Bibliography:

Granja, Martin de sa. “Noises”. Martincrazystories. 2013.

Image credit:   

hesperado.blogspot.com & omsync.com

Note:

I recommend this short story for being so imaginative yet so true. 
Good narrative exposition, excellent poetic denouement.